Stick to It

(Kind of) like a normal girl, I love kitties, horsies, and anything else remotely cute.

Especially this.

Minus this.

I recently rediscovered what all girls at one time or another had--a sticker collection.

Rainbows and unicorns make the world a happy place.

And, just because I collect(ed) unicorn stickers doesn't mean I'm all girly-ish. Because I'm not. I hate to do my hair...and the dishes. And, however cheesy as it may sound, my I'm Special stickers flooded my mind with a number of different emotions. (Does talking about feelings make me sound more maidenlike?) And, since I'm (kind of) like most girls, I overanalyzed every sticker I've ever seen.

Johnny gave me an orange with a sunKIST sticker on it. Do you think he wants to kiss me? Because that's kind of the vibe I've been getting, and maybe this sticker is him letting me know he wants to kiss me. Unless he didn't realize the sticker said KIST. Oh...maybe he doesn't even know that KIST sounds like kissed. But I still think he wants to kiss me. What do you think?

Here's my conclusion: Based on my *extensive research, I've found that most of my stickers fall under three categories (and, I'm assuming, these groups represent the majority of stickers ever to be printed). And, guess what! These categories are represented nicely by stickers from other girls!:

A) Femininity:

My baby yellow Volkswagen Beetle wasn't girly enough before I had to bring in the fairy Hello Kitty theme.

OMG! I just broke a nail shifting gears!!!!!

B) Playfulness:

Hehehe. My shoes have little bumper stickers on them!

C) Love:

Stickers in a card. Awwwwwwwww. Now where's the money?!

Yes, Casey, it DOES prove it. You're free.

So, I think I'll just keep doing what I do best.

And just keep sticking it...

If I roll up my sleeves...

...I'll look strong pounding the heck out of this dough

                              ...To the man.

That'll show him for blocking my view of The Decemberists!

*Perusing through my Hello Kitty sticker albums

Art is Dead

What? You don't believe me? I don't lie. My grandma found him on the sink. She thought his lifeless body was a rock. A pet rock, I guess. When she picked him up and brought him closer to her eyes is when she realized that she was holding yet another one of my fish who had jumped to its demise.

Rest in Peace the Sewer,

Art

A baby's tombstone I discovered in Vallejo, CA

Since I started blogging in August, I've had the grand total of, uh, 4 fish dying:

-7 (named from a Seinfeld episode)
-Soda (named from a Seinfeld episode)
-Omega (he was a Betta fish. Get it?)
-Art (named from a Seinfeld episode)

Well, there aren't very many fish left in the sea bowl now. All I have left is Vandelay (named from a Seinfeld episode), who is nothing without his other half, Art (shh, don't tell him I said that). Art and Vandelay were a team. There just went together. They were like peanut butter and jelly, like salt and pepper, like yogurt and Cheez-its. Vandelay is going to miss Art. I think.

Art's Obituary Oh, Fishy Airy Ofishiary

Art, for the love of Cod, why'd you have to clam up? You should've cried for kelp. Dropped me a line. I could've tried not to be crabby, and would've been touchy-eely to your feelings. Oh, who am I kidding? I would've given you a bass-whooping. That must've been why you acted all koi, as if you were having a whale of time. Why were you hooked on acting fishy? I shouldn't have fallen for this bait, you little shellfish shrimp.

Art, you were named after one of the most notorious non-existent TV characters of all time: Art Vandelay. And now I'm disappointed that you've gone off the air, much like Seinfeld. Now you're exported, like Art Vandelay.

Tuna in soon for the next obituary.

Movin' On Up

Children learn at an early age to express their creativity in unique ways--sometimes resulting in graffiti. Take a look at the drawing below which I discovered on the playground at the school I work at. This child is clearly learning to graffiti for the first time, since the drawing is done in sidewalk chalk. Tsk. Tsk. I admire the child for wanting to share his love of lollipops, but that face is kind of a creepy one, which made me not enjoy the Lollipop Licker wording as much.


Now, we fast forward through this child's life a few years and he's progressed. No longer is he drawing on playgrounds, but rather, he is now expressing his need to beautify the city by writing on street signs. I took the featured picture below in Stratford-upon-Avon, England last year (I must admit that this picture is my favorite from all the pictures I took in the United Kingdom).

This child who has gone from drawing lollipops to writing Hammer Time has moved up in more ways than one:

1: The child can now reach higher things than the playground stairs. He can now reach tall street signs to express his thoughts.
2. The child no longer is drawing a gremlin-looking thing who loves to lick lollipops.
3. The child actually used song lyrics to promote his graffiti, which I find hilarious...since it's an American song (on an English stop sign) from the early '90s.
4. The child made me laugh with his whole STOP Hammer Time stunt, because it was so unexpected for me to find next to Shakespeare's burial site in 2009.
5. The child has left behind chalk and gone for permanency, thus leaving behind his mark for all to enjoy...unless, of course, the street sign gets taken down.
6. The child has moved all the way from Utah to a city in England that is best known as Shakespeare's birthplace and burial site.

Despite this child's creativity, he does have one downfall. No, it's not the fact that he is drawing on public property. No, it is not the fact that it's irreverent to write on a stop sign that is right next to the Holy Trinity Church where Shakespeare was buried. No, it's not the fact that Hammer Time is not written in a straight line but starts moving in the upper right position. The downfall of this child is that I never see any good graffiti around here, in Utah...oh wait, four years ago I saw a stop sign that said STOP (obviously) and then underneath, it said Bush. Somebody actually wrote STOP Bush...in Utah!

But, no one can beat the STOP Hammer Time sign because:

I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay.

It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo, Hammer"

and the rest can go and play.

U Can't Touch This

***I don't support graffiti, but if you're going to do it anyways, then you might as well make it entertaining for those who have to see it everyday.