I write about nothing of importance, which is important...to me.

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Halloween was just around the corner and I needed a costume for work on Friday. It was the end of work on Thursday and as I was walking a student to the bus, I asked him, "What should I be for Halloween?"

"You could be a princess...or...angel...or...Batman's girlfriend." I only have three options according to this kid, huh? And they're all sweet things...

Later that night I went a saw a play called Hotel Frankenstein, and ended up coming home late. Still with no costume idea for the next morning. Then...voila! It hit me. I won't be Batman's girlfriend as the kid suggested, but I will be the "kind of the antithesis of bats"--Catwoman. Think about it, I love cats, and I'm (kind of) a woman. Perfect!

So, at about midnight I was running around finding things to piece together to create my costume.

The next morning, at about 7, after putting my costume on and looking ready for Halloween fun at work, I go in to show my grandma my costume. She says to me, "You look beautiful!" Thanks, Grams, that's exactly what I was going for in my Catwoman costume.

I arrive at work at 8:04 AM. Four minutes late. Dang it. But it was worth it because I had to wake up earlier than usual to get ready for the Halloween party that we'll be having at work all day. As I walk into the classroom, my boss says, "Now, I have to ask, who are you supposed to be?" Isn't it obvious?...or was she making a joke? I don't know.

The day moves on. Adults at the school are complimenting me on my outfit. I don't think the kids quite understood who I was, but I don't blame them, because how would they know who Catwoman is? They're still young.

After work I head on over to a stake bowling activity. In my Catwoman costume. My mom warned me to change before I went because there could be guys there, and how am I supposed to attract guys in that outfit? Mom, are you telling me that Halle Berry looked better as Catwoman than I do? Fine, okay, anybody would look better than me as Catwoman. But...I thought I was being creative...because looking around, no other girl was dressed as Catwoman. This tells me that 1) either I'm really creative, or 2) other girls, for some reason, would not want to dress as a woman in cat attire.

I think the reason other people were not dressed in the same outfit as me was for both reasons, actually. I'm just really creative...because I was the REAL cat woman. Who wants to even pretend to be a REAL cat woman when you can be some girl who wears cat ears and a tail and gets into trouble? I was representing all the REAL cat women out there in the real world. The ones who strive to give cats good lives. The ones who care more about their cats than they do themselves. The ones who have names for all 37 of their cats and who can tell you each individual cat's favorite meal. Let's give a round of applause, for these are the true cat heroes. I will be joining these women (if I'm lucky enough to be accepted into their clan) so I was actually dressed as myself in 25 years--wearing a pink bathrobe, my glasses, curlers in hair, bright blue eyeshadow, rosy red cheeks, bright pink lipstick, lines drawn on my face for wrinkles, bright orange Halloween cat socks, and leopard-printed slippers. Not to mention, I had cat stuffed animals hanging out of my robe's pockets.

*This is the reason why my grandma told me I looked beautiful--because I was dressed as HER (I was using her makeup and robe). Grams also likes cats.
*This is the reason why my boss asked who I was--because I pretty much look like that everyday at work and she couldn't decipher whether I was really dressed for Halloween or not.
*This is the reason why I couldn't attract guys in my outfit--because why would they want someone who wears slippers in public?

Well, folks, let me say: I was kind of dressed up. Kind of myself. But I don't think Halle Berry could play the part of Catwoman quite as well as I can.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Shanimal's Southwest Wild Adventure!

Ever wondered what Southwest wildlife encases?
Welcome to Shanimal's Southwest Wild Adventures! Here you'll learn about Southwest wild animals. 100% guaranteed. If you're not satisfied with this tour, well then, I guess you've just lost some of your valuable time. View at your own risk. As you don't know, I just went on a trip through Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, and up through Utah again. I visited six National Parks along the way. Below are stupendous pictures I took of all the wild animals I saw.

Not Pictured: Elk.

The Tarantula! I had never seen a wild one before, so this was a rare treat. Well, maybe "treat" isn't the correct word, but it was a rare occasion. I tried to convince my grandma to hold it but for some reason she sharply declined.

Grand Canyon (South Rim) National Park

The Raven! This bird was very common around the desert areas. Apparently, these birds are pretty dang smart. One of the smartest in the world. Speaking of ravens, did you know they're in the process of making a movie about Edgar Allen Poe starring John Cusack?

Grand Canyon (South Rim) National Park

The Mule Deer! Okay, so we have deer in our yard every night, so this wasn't such a "treat". Okay, so they still were very cute to look at. One thing that I found out about them a few weeks ago, though, is that they don't like to eat potato peelings. Interesting?

Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park

The Ladybug! Wiiiiiiiild. Craaaaazy. I can't believe I actually saw a ladybug up close and personal!...I actually saw about ten. And no, I'm not really this excited that I saw a ladybug. Yes, ladybugs are cool and all, I just don't get super excited over them. Do you think the males feel confused or offended knowing that they're constantly being called ladies? So feminine. Hmm. I sure am writing a lot about something that I don't get very excited over, don't I?

Some National Park and Everywhere Else, USA

The Peregrine Falcon (I think...)! I'm not really a bird-person (so no, sorry, but I don't birdwatch) but this bird was magnificent. He ruled the roost. He was just perched watching us. I'm just glad he didn't poop on us. Oh yeah, his wingspan was cool. Very big.

Mesa Verde National Park

The Rock Squirrel! Did you know that the most common injury at the Grand Canyon is squirrel bites? Yeah, just look at this cute guy to the right...taking a bite...out of a cracker (I didn't feed him so don't report me to authorities--I'm just the photographer). Well, after he had his cracker snack, I sat down on the wall and he decided to climb across my lap...and I was even lucky enough to pet him. Yes, he was looking for crackers. I know I'M crackers but that doesn't mean I carry crackers with me. Phew. I'm lucky I survived and wasn't bitten by this cute little fella. I'm sure he wouldn't be cute after being bitten, but for now let's say he's cute.

Grand Canyon (South Rim) National Park

...and the Wildest of the Animals Was...

This! Oh, you mean you can't tell from this crappy picture what I'm trying to show you? Okay, okay, I'll just tell you. It's a wig! A wig that was so horribly wrong and didn't match the guy's real hair that I had to take a picture! Unfortunately, the picture doesn't do the hairpiece justice. I don't mean to be rude, sir, but the people you were with should have told you the piece just didn't fit, or match, and that it looked like roadkill.

Dangerous? To the eye. Captivating? Definitely. Wild? So wild that I didn't want to get too close--it might bite.

Bryce Canyon National Park

This concludes our Shanimal Southwest Wildlife Adventure! Thanks for stopping by, and be sure to pick up a brochure on your way out. Don't forget, animals are wild and have a mind of their own...or they like to sit on people's minds...or heads.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Birthday Benefits

Just in case you haven't realized, today is 10/10/10! Definitely a good day to write in your journal, or blog, or diary, or on a piece of paper you see on the counter. Just because. And it can even say anything you want it to say. Therefore...

My 25th birthday is coming up in a couple of days, which means my age is going up. :\ Looking on the bright side of things, when it's your birthday, restaurants pretty much love you (or your money), unlike your "loved" ones who will usually just give you 25 slaps/hits on your birthday, restaurants will give you coupons. So much better than being hit...or headbutted. I have signed up for birthday clubs and I am about to share with you my secrets for which birthday clubs to join (via email) and which ones to pass up. Sharing is caring. You're welcome.

The Good Deals:
1. Red Robin--FREE meal!
2. Rubio's Fresh Mex--FREE meal!
3. Noodles & Company--FREE meal!
4. Baskin Robbins--FREE icecream scoop!
5. Coldstone Creamery--FREE icecream scoop!
6. Romano's Macaroni Grill--FREE piece of chocolate cake!

The Okay Deals:
1. Tucano's--Free meal with the purchase of another meal
2. Chili's--Free brownie sundae with the purchase of an entree
3. Marie Callender's--$5 off entree and a free slice of pie
4. Mimi's Cafe--$10 off a check of more than $20
5. Dairy Queen--Free 16 oz Blizzard with the purchase of a Blizzard of equal or greater value

On a different note, I am starting to feel ooooooollllllllldddddd. Come on, I'm a quarter of a century old, I have the right to feel this way. Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper!

Oh yeah, I forgot about this nice little surprise from Disneyland: We've got a special surprise for you that's bursting with birthday fun! Be sure to check out the new Scavenger Hunt. There are three other games that you can play, as well as a free Disney wallpaper download. Come join us for the celebration! Wow, free wallpaper?! Are you for real?! My second birthday wish has come true...and I haven't even blown out my candles yet.

Disneyland, my third wish was that you let people into the park for free on their birthdays like you did last year...but I guess this whole online thing is worth more than entry into Disneyland, because, hey, online I actually get to interact with Mickey and gang in a scavenger hunt for however long I want. That's way better than seeing Mickey for 2 minutes in person to take a picture with...Oh, fine, I know that you're not doing the free park entry this year for birthdays because you already did the whole Give a Day, Get a Day thing. I did receive a free Disneyland pass for that, and I thank you. But just one question: how is a free ticket for volunteering my time supposed to make me feel special? A million other people volunteered, too. I think if I were to receive a ticket for my birthday, that'd be a lot more personal and make me feel valued, since it's my and only my birthday. Maybe you should go back to your old birthday ways...

So even though I'm getting older, birthdays are still good. In fact, I heard that when you turn 25 you have the honor of renting cars without any fees--my birthday wish has just come true! I also hear that statistics show that the more birthdays you have, the longer you'll live.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Shining...Uh, I Mean the Shiner

Two days ago, I received what I thought would now be a shiner. Fortunately, it didn't turn into a black eye. Unfortunately, for the past two days it hurt as though I had a black eye. Fortunately, it doesn't hurt now. Unfortunately, I still have a little tiny bruise. Fortunately, I can cover it up with makeup. Unfortunately, I'm basically out of cover-up makeup. Fortunately, I don't have a hot date this week where I would be self-conscious about the teeny tiny bruise on my face. Unfortunately, I don't have a hot date this week...or for the next five years.

Oh, I guess you're wondering HOW, exactly, I received what I thought would now be a shiner.
Listed below are the options. There may seem to be more than one right answer, but there isn't. Choose the one answer that seems most correct.

A. I walked into a pole.

B. I got into a brawl with some gangstas because they said that I shouldn't be dissing Like a G6...so, they threw a shoe at me and it hit me in the eye. And it hurt. Really bad.

C. I was going to give someone a high-five but we missed each other's hands and their hand consequently hit me in the face. I hit them in the stomach.

D. I was at work with a new student to our class who has a hard time with transition. She's still in the transition phase, actually, from moving to a new school. She has lots of temper tantrums and is really stubborn. So, when it came time for her to come my table to work on her letter sounds, she was in a bad mood since it was work time. She does not like work time. She likes play time. And right before coming to my table it was play time, so this was a very hard transition for her to make. She was wanting to get out of her chair and roll on the floor and scream and cry. I sat directly behind her, pinning her chair between my chair and the table. Did I ever think that this little girl could be strong? Not really. But she was a fast little bugger. And, a strong little bugger, I might add (she must have lots of experience doing what she did to me) because out of nowhere. WHAM! Right smack in my face is the back of her head. Where did this girl learn to headbutt? So not cool. So unexpected. So painful. Luckily, I was wearing my glasses so they may have blocked the blow to my eye. I'm also lucky she didn't break my glasses, because glasses are expensive to replace! Then, after her whacking to my face, she rubs the back of her head as if she's hurt. Hmm...maybe if it hurts you shouldn't do it. Just my opinion. Anyways, to sum up this choice: D. I was headbutted by a second grade girl.

And the answer is *drum roll, please*

A! If you said A you're correct! You just won an invisible over-the-internet-hug-by-a-stranger. Aren't you glad you played this game?

Okay, okaaaaay, sorry. A is not the most correct answer. That would seem to be the most probable answer to me, but alas, the most correct answer is D (I hope that answer wasn't too obvious).

All I can say is that it's too bad this whole incident didn't happen before picture day. The tiny bruise I have on my face would have made my picture all the more beautiful. And then I would have on record that I have actually been in a fight. Well, I didn't fight back or anything, but I could say I've been attacked...but I would just leave out the fact that it was by a 40 pound second grade girl. Those little facts don't really matter that much, anyway. Right? Right.


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