Balloons

We all have fears. Some are scared of failure, spiders, or heights, while others are scared of pickles, cotton balls, or chickens. I have a lot of fears, but I guess my number one phobia would be coulrophobia: the fear of clowns. Not really. But let's pretend here, okay? My cat, Truffles, on the other hand, is deathly afraid of balloons. Phobias just can't be explained.

Well...actually, they can, because right now I'm about to trace back to how my cat came to shudder at the sight of balloons...

It was a nice, summer day, when my best friend came to my house to celebrate my sister's birthday. Truffles was only a few months old (9 years ago), still very much impressionable.

My best friend loved ladybugs, and appropriately, gave my sister a huge helium-filled ladybug balloon to help spread cheer on my sister's special day. But for Truffles, it became known as The Day That Went Down Like a Lead Balloon. Apparently, ladybugs represent luck. And luck is the exact opposite of what happened to Truffles on that fateful day.

The ladybug was out to get Truffles (or, in other words, my friend was chasing my cat around with the balloon).

Can you imagine being chased around by a creature thingy that is three times the size of you? Oh wait, I can. It's called my older brother (if you're reading this, I'm only kidding, bro). He would chase me after I'd knock on his door and runaway when he had friends over. Typical brother-sister relationship, heh. Truffles was probably thinking Why in the heck is this bug following me? Probably because it wanted to be her friend...right? (This is what I tell myself to justify the unforgivable [lack of] action I took to prevent my cat from having an irrational fear of a big, mean, floaty thing). Yes, the ladybug just wanted to be friends.

And the ladybug would not settle. She was going to gain a new friend; preferably, a cute, fluffy one. Unfortunately, I was overlooked.

Truffles tried hiding everywhere.

Under the table.

Under the bed.

Behind the desk.

In the occupied litterbox--next to her arch nemesis, Kudos, no less.

Unsuccessfully, Truffles tried camouflaging herself within the hoards of stuffed animals on my bed. The ladybug was just too smart. She (he?) could tell the difference between a replica of E.T. and a cute, fluffy living organism. Once again...I was overlooked. Are you noticing a pattern here?

I don't remember how this cat-and-mouse chase ended. Maybe Truffles gave up trying to run away and gave in to the little bugger of a beetle. Maybe she got away by running out the cat door. Maybe she finally outran the creepy-crawly my friend. But all that matters at the end of the day is that Truffles cannot be in the same room as a balloon.

So, how do you think she reacted two months ago when she saw Grandma's Valentine's balloons?

Like this, of course:


I'll tell you what, though, I think I'd be scared of balloons, too--especially if they're strung along by a clown...

...like Heidi Montag.

Ahem. Back to Truffles.

The only advice I can give her is: Life's a Circus. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show--especially when a clown falls on its face.