I write about nothing of importance, which is important...to me.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Catwoman

Halloween was just around the corner and I needed a costume for work on Friday. It was the end of work on Thursday and as I was walking a student to the bus, I asked him, "What should I be for Halloween?"

"You could be a princess...or...angel...or...Batman's girlfriend." I only have three options according to this kid, huh? And they're all sweet things...

Later that night I went a saw a play called Hotel Frankenstein, and ended up coming home late. Still with no costume idea for the next morning. Then...voila! It hit me. I won't be Batman's girlfriend as the kid suggested, but I will be the "kind of the antithesis of bats"--Catwoman. Think about it, I love cats, and I'm (kind of) a woman. Perfect!

So, at about midnight I was running around finding things to piece together to create my costume.

The next morning, at about 7, after putting my costume on and looking ready for Halloween fun at work, I go in to show my grandma my costume. She says to me, "You look beautiful!" Thanks, Grams, that's exactly what I was going for in my Catwoman costume.

I arrive at work at 8:04 AM. Four minutes late. Dang it. But it was worth it because I had to wake up earlier than usual to get ready for the Halloween party that we'll be having at work all day. As I walk into the classroom, my boss says, "Now, I have to ask, who are you supposed to be?" Isn't it obvious?...or was she making a joke? I don't know.

The day moves on. Adults at the school are complimenting me on my outfit. I don't think the kids quite understood who I was, but I don't blame them, because how would they know who Catwoman is? They're still young.


After work I head on over to a stake bowling activity. In my Catwoman costume. My mom warned me to change before I went because there could be guys there, and how am I supposed to attract guys in that outfit? Mom, are you telling me that Halle Berry looked better as Catwoman than I do? Fine, okay, anybody would look better than me as Catwoman. But...I thought I was being creative...because looking around, no other girl was dressed as Catwoman. This tells me that 1) either I'm really creative, or 2) other girls, for some reason, would not want to dress as a woman in cat attire.

I think the reason other people were not dressed in the same outfit as me was for both reasons, actually. I'm just really creative...because I was the REAL cat woman. Who wants to even pretend to be a REAL cat woman when you can be some girl who wears cat ears and a tail and gets into trouble? I was representing all the REAL cat women out there in the real world. The ones who strive to give cats good lives. The ones who care more about their cats than they do themselves. The ones who have names for all 37 of their cats and who can tell you each individual cat's favorite meal. Let's give a round of applause, for these are the true cat heroes. I will be joining these women (if I'm lucky enough to be accepted into their clan) so I was actually dressed as myself in 25 years--wearing a pink bathrobe, my glasses, curlers in hair, bright blue eyeshadow, rosy red cheeks, bright pink lipstick, lines drawn on my face for wrinkles, bright orange Halloween cat socks, and leopard-printed slippers. Not to mention, I had cat stuffed animals hanging out of my robe's pockets.

*This is the reason why my grandma told me I looked beautiful--because I was dressed as HER (I was using her makeup and robe). Grams also likes cats.
*This is the reason why my boss asked who I was--because I pretty much look like that everyday at work and she couldn't decipher whether I was really dressed for Halloween or not.
*This is the reason why I couldn't attract guys in my outfit--because why would they want someone who wears slippers in public?

Well, folks, let me say: I was kind of dressed up. Kind of myself. But I don't think Halle Berry could play the part of Catwoman quite as well as I can.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Shanimal's Southwest Wild Adventure!

Ever wondered what Southwest wildlife encases?
Welcome to Shanimal's Southwest Wild Adventures! Here you'll learn about Southwest wild animals. 100% guaranteed. If you're not satisfied with this tour, well then, I guess you've just lost some of your valuable time. View at your own risk. As you don't know, I just went on a trip through Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, and up through Utah again. I visited six National Parks along the way. Below are stupendous pictures I took of all the wild animals I saw.

Not Pictured: Elk.





The Tarantula! I had never seen a wild one before, so this was a rare treat. Well, maybe "treat" isn't the correct word, but it was a rare occasion. I tried to convince my grandma to hold it but for some reason she sharply declined.

Grand Canyon (South Rim) National Park





The Raven! This bird was very common around the desert areas. Apparently, these birds are pretty dang smart. One of the smartest in the world. Speaking of ravens, did you know they're in the process of making a movie about Edgar Allen Poe starring John Cusack?

Grand Canyon (South Rim) National Park





The Mule Deer! Okay, so we have deer in our yard every night, so this wasn't such a "treat". Okay, so they still were very cute to look at. One thing that I found out about them a few weeks ago, though, is that they don't like to eat potato peelings. Interesting?

Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Park




The Ladybug! Wiiiiiiiild. Craaaaazy. I can't believe I actually saw a ladybug up close and personal!...I actually saw about ten. And no, I'm not really this excited that I saw a ladybug. Yes, ladybugs are cool and all, I just don't get super excited over them. Do you think the males feel confused or offended knowing that they're constantly being called ladies? So feminine. Hmm. I sure am writing a lot about something that I don't get very excited over, don't I?

Some National Park and Everywhere Else, USA








The Peregrine Falcon (I think...)! I'm not really a bird-person (so no, sorry, but I don't birdwatch) but this bird was magnificent. He ruled the roost. He was just perched watching us. I'm just glad he didn't poop on us. Oh yeah, his wingspan was cool. Very big.

Mesa Verde National Park






The Rock Squirrel! Did you know that the most common injury at the Grand Canyon is squirrel bites? Yeah, just look at this cute guy to the right...taking a bite...out of a cracker (I didn't feed him so don't report me to authorities--I'm just the photographer). Well, after he had his cracker snack, I sat down on the wall and he decided to climb across my lap...and I was even lucky enough to pet him. Yes, he was looking for crackers. I know I'M crackers but that doesn't mean I carry crackers with me. Phew. I'm lucky I survived and wasn't bitten by this cute little fella. I'm sure he wouldn't be cute after being bitten, but for now let's say he's cute.

Grand Canyon (South Rim) National Park



...and the Wildest of the Animals Was...

This! Oh, you mean you can't tell from this crappy picture what I'm trying to show you? Okay, okay, I'll just tell you. It's a wig! A wig that was so horribly wrong and didn't match the guy's real hair that I had to take a picture! Unfortunately, the picture doesn't do the hairpiece justice. I don't mean to be rude, sir, but the people you were with should have told you the piece just didn't fit, or match, and that it looked like roadkill.

Dangerous? To the eye. Captivating? Definitely. Wild? So wild that I didn't want to get too close--it might bite.

Bryce Canyon National Park



This concludes our Shanimal Southwest Wildlife Adventure! Thanks for stopping by, and be sure to pick up a brochure on your way out. Don't forget, animals are wild and have a mind of their own...or they like to sit on people's minds...or heads.

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