I write about nothing of importance, which is important...to me.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Infamous Michael Jackson Joke

Okay, so many of you might not have found the previous post's joke funny...and that's okay...as long as you at least gave me a sympathy laugh. I don't find a lot of jokes funny. But, I did happen to find one joke really funny, oh, seven or so years ago. And now I shall share with you the really funny joke--on one condition: it's wrapped within a story. Are you ready for a bedtime story? Okay, it's called: The Infamous Shannon-Joke-That-Fell-Flat Story. Ready? Go!

It was the night of my best friend's 18th birthday and as a gift, her mom set her up on a date with this guy she had really liked for, like, four years. My friend knew that she was being set up on a date, but she didn't know who it was with. She had no idea it was her crush. When my friend was in her room getting ready, the crush came over with a bouqet of flowers in hand waiting in the family room to surprise her. My friend comes out of her room and who does she see? Her dream man with flowers, nonetheless. What a glorious evening for her!

It wasn't just any date, but a group "date". "Date" because there were five people, three girls and two boys. Obviously there was an odd girl out. That person was probably me--I'm always the odd one. The only person I knew on this group thing was my best friend. The others invited to the group thing were the guy she had a crush on, the guy she had a crush on's cousin, and my best friend's friend. We were invited to go for a limo ride around Sacramento! We were in the limo deciding where to go, and trying to fill the limo with conversation as we made our way to the decided destinations. Since I only knew my friend and am not good at talking in groups (especially to people I don't know), I really didn't have much to say. I couldn't ask my BFF what it's like being in the same limo as her crush because, hello, he's right there. In fact, there didn't seem to be a lot of conversation going on. The whole limo ride is filled with all these strangers trying to make small talk with one another...

"So...happy birthday!"
"Shannon, you've already told me that five times..."
Someone else says, "I've never been in a limo before."
"Yeah, me neither..."
"Limos are cool."

You know, that kind of talking.

"Why don't we put on some music?" Someone suggests.

Billie Jean can now be heard playing softly in the background of my friend's thumping heart. Hello, if you were in the same car as the guy you've liked for four years and now were officially on a date with him, you'd be nervous/excited too! Well, this Billie Jean song I faintly hear gives me an epiphany! I know! Why don't I share that Michael Jackson joke with everyone that I had only heard a few days earlier? Great idea, Shannon. I imagine patting myself on the back. Oooh, I'll be the funny person in the car. Get them all to laugh. Then my friend and her crush can start talking about how funny the joke is and branch off of that into different topics, and then, voila! They'll be talking about marriage. Okay, so maybe I wasn't really thinking like that. Rather, I was probably like, Hmm...let's see if this joke can fill the silence with a little laughter for maybe a couple of seconds. I was decided. I was going to share this hecka funny joke.

I pronounce, "Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at K-Mart?" All eyes on me. This is my moment to turn the car ride around into something where the nervousness has eased, and the ice has been broken.

"Because the boys' pants are half off!"

It was sooooo silent that you could hear a pin drop...or just hear the lyrics "People always told me be careful of what you do...". Not the reaction (or lack thereof) that I had expected. Not only was the limo even more silent than before, but now I was probably labeled as the-girl-who-tells-dumb-jokes-that-no-one-laughs-at to these three strangers. Not even a sympathy laugh. Not one. All I ask is that you at least give me a fake laugh. Is that really too much?

I couldn't figure it out. I had found that joke funny enough that I decided to share it with these new people. I would be doing them a favor if they had found it funny. Then they could share it with their families. And then their families could share it with friends. It'd be like pay it forward.

After enjoying our time playing arcades at Sunsplash and eating ice cream at Leatherby's, we made our way home. I asked my friend why no one laughed at the joke. Apparently her crush was a HUGE Michael Jackson fan and didn't much appreciate the joke. And I guess everyone (but me) knew that he loved MJ. Needless to say, the next time I'm in a limo driving around Sacramento with four other people, three of which I don't know, and no one's talking, I've learned my lesson to never tell a Michael Jackson joke because then the joke will be on me. And there still won't be laughter.

Next time you hear a joke from me that you don't find agreeable, just give me a tiny laugh, or even a smile, sit me down, put your hand on my shoulder, look at me with empathetic eyes and simply say, "Shannon, I'm sorry, but that's another Michael Jackson joke." And I will totally understand...it will mean you'd rather hear an infamous dumb blond joke...


  1. LOVE IT!! Just to let you know i did laugh inside!!

  2. Wow, after all these years you're just NOW telling me you were laughing on the inside?

    That's the best Christmas gift I've ever received! Thanks!

  3. Ha ha ha that is funny. Ok I am sure you didn't find it funny at least not at the time. Yeah, that's why I just sit in silence too, lol. Glad you still were able to have some fun that night ;-) Have a blessed weekend.

  4. I would have laughed at your joke! I love jokes! In fact I'm laughing right now and when I'm done with this corny comment I'm going to follow your blog because of your sense of humor! Have a great day Shannon and thanks for making me laugh!

  5. My own Michael Jackson clanger involved the new Wii game "The Michael Jackson Experience". I said the last time some 10yr old boys had the Michael Jackson Experience with a phallic object in their hand all it produced was a court case. No one laughed, I felt like such a boob. Your joke was good, I chuckled, haters gonna hate ya know?

  6. I would totally at least give you a sympathy laugh! I thought your joke was funny! chicgeek82, yours too! I can't stand Michael Jackson though, that guy creeped me out big time! I have to be super careful what I say about him though because my 11 yo cousin is a huge fan.

  7. HAHAHAHA. That picture is hilarious too!



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