I write about nothing of importance, which is important...to me.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Speed Dating

I'm not someone who possesses any kind of special power (unless you count being able to dribble a basketball through your 6'0" opponent's legs some kind of special power) so I can't foresee the future. So, when I posted The Shining...Uh, I Mean the Shiner, little did I know that I would have 16 dates since then. And, one of them happened to be a hot date, too!

This is true. Strange, I know. Well, actually, I've had about 16 dates within the past two weeks. Seriously, what's going on here, Shannon? To make this even stranger, I went on like, 15 dates last night!

It's called speed dating, people. And I met some interesting people.

So, basically, this speed dating thing turned out to be like you've been on a bunch of blind dates (4 minutes each) with people you don't really have anything in common with. Sounds like the blind date I went on the week before...oh, except that guy and I had one similarity: our height (or lack thereof).

Rock On--this is the name of one of the guys I met. Seriously. Except that his last name isn't spelled exactly like that, but he said that his name is pronounced like Rock On. I told him his parents must have a sense of humor. I think he agreed. I think.

Another guy drew pictures to describe himself and what he likes to do. On the paper, he drew a basketball, pizza, a girl, a quote bubble from the girl's mouth--because she's flirting with him, and BYU.

Our conversation went like this:

Him: ...and then I drew this girl because I like women, ladies, girls, females. But I like everyone. I like guys too.
Me: Well, you probably shouldn't go around telling girls who you just met that you like men.
Him: I'm just saying that I like everyone.
Me: I know. But you still probably shouldn't go around telling girls that you like men...or boys.

...not that there's anything wrong with that.

By the time I had that conversation, we were maybe 45 minutes into the whole process, and I was trying to make conversations interesting...to make a general statement that you like everyone, you can expect comebacks. I could've gone a different route with, Oh, so do you think you would've been friends with Hitler? Or, very simply, I could've just smiled and said, That's so cool! I probably shouldn't have joked with him like that, because I don't think he got that I was joking. Oh well. It only lasted 4 minutes for him.

Towards the end, I started talking to people who I had common interests with, though.

With one guy I talked about PaperBoy and Bubble Bobble for the original Nintendo. That was cool.

With another guy I quoted Dumb and Dumber. We then talked about Seinfeld and Pee Wee's Big Adventure. That was cool.

Another guy told me there were around 500 Star Trek books. He wouldn't tell me how many HE owned, though. That was cool, because really, I don't want to know.

Towards the very end of the thing, after talking to different guys about the same dull subjects:

  • Are you in school or working?
  • What's your major?
  • Where are you originally from?
  • What are your hobbies?
  • Do you like cheese?

it was this one guy's turn to talk to me. He told me he was so sick of making small talk that he just wanted to demolish the building where this speed dating event was being held. Naturally, I went along with the subject. I would rather hear how other people think than talk about myself the whole time. Wanting to know how he'd demolish the building I ask How would you do it? Start a fire, bomb it? (Spoiler Alert: THIS is the hot date) He went on to tell me that he'd crawl through the vent and have his bird fly throughout the vents and drop bombs in various places. Then, he'd have a dog come in through the building with bombs strapped to it. And, would there be anyone in the building while you blew it up? No. In conclusion, I guess he's a good person...unless the dog or bird were killed in the process. The building we were in was a church, though. If he blew up the church, then he'd actually be killing the Spirit and that's (probably) worse than killing a person, probably. But then again, for killing the Spirit you don't get life in prison. How's that for small talk on a first "date"? After explaining to me how he'd blow up the church he then asked me, Don't you think that's a funny story? Well, I think it's a funny story now. I'm sure when I read about this ten years from now I'll just think, man, I met some interesting people through speed dating.

...not that there's anything wrong with that. Really.

So, speed dating can be interesting. Or interesting. Rock on, speed daters, rock on.


  1. Shannon!!!! That was cool!!!!

  2. So, you're saying there's no second date?

  3. Great post! I'm glad you posted this link at BPOTW! :)

  4. I hope speed dating doesn't lead to speed sex.

  5. I miss Bubble Bobble. I've never been speed dating, but your story, although hilarious, convinced me that I probably don't want to go. Lol. Just stopping by to say hello from Best Posts of the Week. -Lola from Lolarati and Buddhatropolis


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