I write about nothing of importance, which is important...to me.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Thumbelina

"I'm leaving my girlfriend," the rosy cheeked boy whispered in my ear during a lovey-dovey musical scene--obviously trying to replicate Disney--from the movie, Thumbelina.

I droop my mouth in an exaggerated look of shock. "Why?"

 "For you."

I usually don't make good first impressions, but today goes to show that unfortunate circumstances can change.

"You're small like Thumbelina," he smiles at me with those deep-set baby blue eyes of his. I know that his now ex-"girlfriend" was the woman who worked as the office secretary...who was also old enough to be his grandma. I get it, he's hitting the stage now where he's becoming more attracted to younger women. Who are also around his height.

I had only known this new boy for four hours before he told me I was his new girlfriend. Who did this guy think he was, trying to win me over with these expedient compliments? But boy, I have to admit--he sure knew how to sweep a girl off her feet.

Flattery soon hazed my judgment. I couldn't hold any of this new-found knowledge in anymore. I needed to tell everyone thes words of admiration that this boy had just revealed to me.

"...so he told me he's leaving Pam for me," my face beams as my dry, chapped lips curl naturally into smile formation.

"Oh, well that's interesting," my boss enlightened me.

"Oh...?" I acknowledge, as I try to make the carpet clutter-free of Legos.

"Because today he told me that I was his new girlfriend." I didn't think it was supposed to start raining until tomorrow, but this snippet of news from my boss sure dampened my parade. She continued, "Yeah, these were his exact words: I'm leaving my girlfriend for you." She said this as she scrubbed markers from the wall. How could she act as if this was a typical thing to be told?

"Oooooooh," was all I managed to muster. "B-b-but that's exactly what he told me!" I exclaimed with a genuine look of shock plastering my face, I'm sure.

"Then he said..." my boss remarked as she had one of the other eight year olds go over and blow his nose, "since we're boyfriend and girlfriend now, we need to go hot-tubbing." She continued to make the classroom more presentable for the baby shower that was scheduled to be held in her honor in half and hour.

My life of perfection, if only for 20 minutes, came to a halt. My man, at the grand age of eight, is already wanting to hot-tub with another woman (married, nonetheless) whose first child is due next month.

There's a fairy in this story. Here's a hint: it's not me...or Thumbelina.

Fairy tales don't really exist...but fairies do.

35 comments:

  1. Can I tell you how much I love the way you take these silly little exchanges and turn them into something so funny and relatable? You are, as always, shantastic!

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  2. LOL. Hot tubbing is good for you! just drink lots of water, and dont pee in the tub, and you get all those gross toxins out. and 8 year olds are fancy!

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  3. Awesome. Let's just hope that he doesn't start time traveling in that hot tub.

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  4. Wonderful post. Thank you x

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  5. Hey, hot tubbing is a boyfriend girlfriend fact of life.

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  6. Nicely done.

    Playas. :-) They come in all ages.

    Pearl

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  7. cute. made me laugh!

    following from

    www.myabcsoup.blogspot.com

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  8. Hahah the whole time I was thinking how much of a jerk he was, then I figured it out! Great post, I love how you wrote it!

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  9. I'm just gonna keep this comment short and sweet: Frist, I gasped. Then, I LOL'ed. The end.

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  10. great little story...sounds like he has some interesting lines in flattery :)

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  11. Well, Thumbelina was a crappy movie anyway, so don't feel bad.

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  12. Lol waiiit! he's 8 yrs old?? :p

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  13. That kids got the moves already. He is going to take over for Hugh Hefner when he gets older.

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  14. You told this story so well, Shan. You had me going there. I was thinking I dated guys like that too. No, no, thankfully I haven't. This is very cute.
    xoRobyn

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  15. Love it! But I heard hot tubs not only cause pregnancy, they speed up gestation to a convenient 2 hours.

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  16. 1)Brilliant!

    2)Going to tell Youngest Child (who's 8) that hot tubs spread diseases that make body parts fall off.

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  17. Heheh! Kids are so silly. I had one 6 year old who told me that when they moved they'd have a joint bathroom connecting his room to the guest bedroom. He assured me that he wouldn't make a mess of the bathroom if I'd come stay in the other room. LOL.

    Also, I miss Thumbelina! I had sort of forgotten it existed!

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  18. lmao .. that little plAYER LOL

    this is so cute..
    xx

    first time on your blog x

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  19. My first stop by too. Darling story.

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  20. This gave me a good chuckle.
    Cheeky little player. Its quite cute really.
    x

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  21. Loved it, very entertaining!

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  22. You know what they say about good men right?

    If you can't find one, raise one.

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  23. Track this kid down in 10 years and tell me what he's up to. Should be interesting. :)

    Lorraine

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  24. Lol Shan. Love your work! Can always count on you for a most excellent giggle !

    xMiss365

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  25. I sit here reading this with my little boy in my lap.
    Gorgeous post!

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  26. Finally posted about that award you gave me! Took me an age to get around to it but hey better late than never! Thanks lady

    http://www.guysboysandmen.com/2011/05/blog-love-come-get-your-awards.html

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  27. P.S to quote Angelina Fair tales are stories that haven't finished yet.

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  28. Oooooooh, that naughty little heartbreaker!!! :-D

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  29. Hello!!! I hope you’re having a fantastic day!! I would like to make it even better by presenting you with the Versatile Blogger Award!!! To check out this prestigious award, check out my blog at: http://thatsoundslikecrazy.blogspot.com

    Nancy

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  30. Hello! I love your blog so I'm happy to tell you that I gave you a Versatile Blogger Award! Please go to my post at: Sprout's Green Family to pick it up. Save the button on your computer then create a post with the image and your responses to the 3 required statements. Thanks so much and have a great week!
    Sprout

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  31. LOL!! Thanks for the lovely story! Love it.

    Happy Tuesday!

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  32. :) That is very funny! I guess that is how you get all these people following you! Very nice!

    and thank you for the response on the help forum!

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  33. so cute. Thumbelina isn't Disney though.

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Thank you for reading and have yourself a great day. Or night. Whatever.

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